The Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind.

I have long ago stopped living for happiness.Earlier,like many,my life seemed to be an system of constant effort for being happy or about finding some happy moments.They showed up,sometimes in the form of a trip,a get-together of family members or completion of some longed material desire.Somehow or the other,it turned out to be temporary.Very temporary.I was tossed back into the swirls of temporary emotion systems or like sadness.I learned how to define lowness or in other words,lack of happiness.
I dont know if it was by some coincidence or it was some black magic art,I fortunately learned what happiness was and I think I found it too,when I had just stopped the incoming of the desire of what the modern society defines as happiness.
This so called happiness we try to seek is not that worthy to be called happiness. It is not fulfilling and permanant.We all have our own ideas of happiness.Some feel happy after getting something materialistic like a car ,and some feel happy about an upcoming event.Now,you cant expect your idea of happiness to remain there for you forever.After every happiness comes this misery;they may be far apart or near.What about the happiness?It seemed so good and its gone in a jiffy.The desire asks for permanancy and that is impossible and we like this happiness so much that we want things to be like that forever which is just so impossible.Circumstances are bound to change,external turbulance has to strike and when that happens,in form of events or anything,sorrow strikes.We love this happiness so much that we for sure dont like the sorrow.
These are states,and these states must ever change;but there must be something which is permanant like the real happiness.
What we take as happiness is sensation.This sensation or this joy that we feel is always seeking further sensation,ever in wider and wider circles.There is no end to the pleasures of sensation;they multiply,but there is dissatisfaction in thier fulfillment,there is always desire for more,and this demand for more is without end.Sensation and dissatisfaction are inseperable,for the desire for more binds them together.Such a thing which can never be found is not happiness.Real happiness is not sensation.
So after many childish attempts I realised that and I stopped living on happiness.What we have to do is to stop living on happiness and sorrow.If we live on any of them,we wont find the permanancy.
I started living on beauty.I dont mean any kind of materialistic beauty because those too are temporary,but on the beauty of thoughts,emotions or life,like living on the beauty of sorrow and happiness,but not on happiness and sadness.I could feel beauty in everything;it was everywhere.
To be free from the desire for happiness kind of relives you from some heavyness because you feel lighter after quitting something so unreal.My aim was to become aware;aware of beauty all around-within and outside.There was beauty in the unreal happiness too;the way it functioned and how popular it was with the people.It seemed funny too.I could enjoy it because I never worried about the desire of its arrival again.The lessening magnitude of this worry made me enjoy sorrow too.It was just another feeling.I personally enjoyed the abusrd feelings of lowness that came with sadness.Sometimes,there was a slow stream of the traffic of thoughts and sometimes I was heavy with thoughts.My instinct,was to observe,and become involved and enjoy.Everything seemed to be beautiful;the power to shine like a star and even to be crushed like dust.Sometimes,I am too tired to think of anything and face a mental block and I close my eyes,in a state which is a average of the sum of restlessness and peace I feel after closing my eyes.I try to enjoy all this with google eyed amazement and the intensity of fascination is huge.
Sometimes I feel so tired that I have to surrender to the thought and tiredness.You let the whole thing take over you and you lose.It attacks you as gently and dissolves itself like a pain killer does in a glass of water.You can start enjoying it by just surrendering.Sometimes you have to surrender before you win.
Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit." Every moment is the greatest moment of your life and you're off somewhere,missing it.
Between the stumble and fall of anything,there was a tunnel of lengthened time and narrowed perspectives.You start feeling that everything happening has a contrast and effect that seems to be calculated which makes you awe in admiration for all what is happening.Whatever happens,you let it happen and try to enjoy it and take the beauty out of it.
Now, for me,all this sadness and happiness is something special and a daily meditation;some kind of art.
I may feel peace,turbulance,calmness,unstability,consciousness,ego or even egoless,but I dont stop feeling beauty.I even try to find beauty in a headache I suffer.Maybe the idea of trying to find beauty in such a stupid thing is beautiful itself.and what happens when you feel so much beauty around?It makes you feel good and beautiful.
It reminds me of a few movie lines and I agree that I feel exactly the same most of the times now.The character from the movie 'American Beauty' says that "sometimes I feel so much beauty that I think I am taking too much of it in a go.It makes my heart burst like a balloon and then I try to let it flow through me like rain and I cant feel anything but gratitude in my stupid little life."
We can find beauty anywhere,like the beauty in these lines,just trying to feel it in everything,like a instance when you dont have an answer to a question,and you sit down and think about the complexity and simplicity of the problem and take the beauty out of it.Maybe my inability to explain how I feel it is beautiful in itself.The whole purpose is to have fun.
And the whole idea is to be aware.
You start listening to the music coming from the blooming flowers,from the songs of the birds,and even from the smallest blade of glass and thorn of the bush.In everything lives the evidence of the beautiful.This gospel reveals that emphatic knowledge through which one learns truth and beholds the good in all its majesty and glory.When one learns the music of the mind or anything and appreciate her beauty,then his soul movies in harmony with its entire enviroment,and with this starts to fade away dissatisfaction which comes with sorrow.This means calmness increases and we dont have to worry about the instability because we have learned to enjoy it.
When one learns to fully appreciate the profundity of nature in its simplicity,then thoughts flows spontaneously to the appeals of this delicate senses when they come in contact with nature.This soul-vibrating experience,in its full harmony with the perfect orchestra of melodies and echos,reflects from the sounds of the ripples from the Ganges,the gushing of the winds,the rustling of the leaves,and the roar of the thundering clouds.

Go outside,whereever you are try and concentrate on the clouds,sounds of the birds,the movement of the leaves,you suddenly realise that you have become aware.You realise that you have been much less aware of the changes inside and the outside and when that does not happen we really cant expect there to be an equilibrium.

Of all the changes,the stream of our consciousness seems to be obliterating on its own banks,losing the main central direction,flooding the lowlands,disconnecting and isolating the highlands and to no particular reasons,seems to run less deep.Some channel deepening seems called for.

Such kind of awareness leads to Freedom.Now,what exactly is freedom?.First of all,Freedom is only of the mind.There is a sense of freedom which is free from anything,which has no cause,but which is a state of being free.We all say we would like to be free,but I think that before we pursue that desire with our inclinations or tendencies confront us,we should understand the structure and nature of freedom.Freedom is not being free from anger,jealously,pain,anxiety etc.,but it is being free from the reactions for such freedoms.

Children think that making them stop smoking is blocking freedom.That's Bullshit.I dont mind people smoking if they think its cool or if they want to kill themselves.It's thier life and whatever anybody does is by his own conscience and maybe its fine.I dont know much about the smoking part but It is related to freedom in a way.Be Aware of smoking,do not condemn,rationalize,or accept,simply be aware.If you are so aware there is the cessation of the habit;if you are so aware there will be no recurrence of it,but if you are not aware the habit will persist.This awareness is not the determination to cease or to indulge.It's about being aware of the action;being knowledge-less and thoughtless about it-to become fully aware and free of the cause and effect.
That's freedom.

Freedom is zero conflict within including the outside completely.Freedom is complete in itself,it is not a reaction,it is not an ideological conclusion.Freedom implies complete solitude,an inward state of mind that is not depentent on any stimulus,or any knowledge;it is not the result of any experience or conclusion.Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.This freedom gives the ease of full attention so that we can go inside and explore within ourselves the changes and understand the why.

We have to quit our ego and get out of it.We concentrate and we become aware.We are no longer limited.When this is attained,man thinks yet he does not think.He thinks like the showers coming down from the oceans;he thinks like the stars illuminating the nightly heavens;he thinks like the green foilage shooting forth in the relaxing spring breeze.Indeed,he is the showers,the ocean,the stars,the foilage.One has to go beyong self to gain universal consciousness after creating equilibrium to have all the answers.Our normal understanding of the world is what we see.It is not the reality,it is not the truth.That what we take for truth is the product of our thoughts,a certain creation of the mind.

The awareness talked about leads to meditation which can be done in many number of ways,and can be done by even concentrating on your breathing,as followed by many religions around the world.At first the mind has become concentrated on the object meditation(any sound,your breathing),and you feel all your wandering thoughts have vanished,your thoughts become one pointed.You practice a lot;a lot and comes a time when you forget you are meditating,you forget there is an object of meditation and you become one with existence itself.You become free.This is the essence of existence.Meditation means the mind has melted into the inner-self and you have realised that the inner-self contains everything.Our purpose is to realise that the self is complete in itself;it is god,and that we have the oppurtunity to realise that.Mind when concentrated on the real beauty and truth,is instrincally luminous.It is the light of knowledge:steady,bright and one pointed.This state could well be called a luminous awareness of unconditioned joy.This is our real nature.

If you sit quiet and look at the universe,you feel as if the universe is meditating.If you look at the sky,look at the waters;a vast expanse of waters;you feel as if they are meditating.Look at the mountains and you will feel there is silence beyond the mountains.Even if you sit quiet in london and see what people are doing,how fast they are going,you will feel behind all the service activity,there is meditative silence.Ordinary people spend thier lives running after temporary happiness,spend time quarelling and gossiping.I am just conveying what the upnishads explain.Its not easy to know our real self.Every soul is a sun covered with the clouds of ignorance;the difference owing to difference in density of layers.The states I mentioned must ever change;but the nature of soul is bliss,peace and understanding.We have not to get it,we have it,only wash away the dross and see it.Expect this infinite spirit,everything else is changing.There is the whirl of change.Permanance is nowhere to be found except in yourself.There is infinite joy,unchanging.

Arise!Awake!Awake from this hypnotism of weakness.None is really weak;the soul is infinite,omnipotent and omniscient.Stand up,assert yourself,proclaim the God within you,do not deny Him!Teach Yourselves,teach everyone your real nature,call upon the sleeping soul and see how it awakens.Power will come,purity will come,and everything that is excellent will come when this sleeping soul is roused to self conscious activity. - Swami Vivekananda

This is what the real happiness I was talking about;the one inside us.There is a long way to go and battles are won and lost,but there is hope because we cant let ourselves be affected by anything which is not real.I have not yet reached that state but have made sure it exists.I call it the Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind.

The happiness I looked for was within.Happiness was in the pure light.That happiness was in hope.

It was about awareness and in the truth that lead to unconditioned and pure joy.Happiness was about great things we could achieve,and about the things that make us realize our greatness and still makes us ready to learn more.Happiness was about destroying ourselves and letting go of our ego to become god-like.It was in Freedom and the things that were pure and good.Happiness was in the lowness and the rise that would also strike soon.Happiness was in everything and a kind of constant beauty.

HAPPINESS is in the Now.

Unquotable non-quotes.

Madness is like Gravity.It just needs a little....push - The Dark Knight.

I really hate quotes - Me.

If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping . Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned” - Fight Club

"Inhale..exhale..smoke till your lungs fail" - Saras advice to all of us ;)

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. - Winston Churchill

You complete Me - Joker to Batman (The Dark Knight)

Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.

Do you smell something kid? - Me.

All the Things i really Like are either Immoral, Illegal or Fattening. - Alexander Woollcott

I am feeling very much tired right now.actually,my neurons are very much annoyed with me.they love chocotate brownies.its nt tht thy ddin have any today,they ate 13 kgs of it.the thng is tht my WBC's are in a kind of cold war with my neurons and they did hate that kind gesture of mine towards the neurons.they eventually started fighting.thts nt it.this in turn annoyned my RBC's who were sleeping.they sleep around 16 hours a day, ask me and i will tell you how much they hate to be woken up in the middle of it.now they have revolted too. - Me.

Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. - The Departed.

I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Mia : Don't you hate that? Vincent : What? Mia : Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? Vincent : I don't know. That's a good question. Mia : That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence - From Pulp Fiction.

"The teachings are not something out there in a book; what the teachings say is, 'Look at yourself, go into yourself, inquire into what is there, understand it, go beyond it', and so on. The teachings are only a means of pointing, explaining, but you have to understand, not the teachings, but yourself." - J.Krishnamurti

I belong to that breed of people who profess to dream,... who wear a slight smile while walking all by themselves...and who hum in tune to the song of life... - Me.

Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was, told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all. And for the first time in my life I felt beautiful. Finally part of the earth. I touched the soil and he loved me back. - Some Movie.

r;

What's your name? -Me.

We travel just to travel.

Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit." - From Fight Club.

You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. - Fight Club.

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. - Some very pissed off chicken to me.

Without pain, without sacrifice, you would have nothing. - My toothbrush

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, its a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." -Dr. Seuss

"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts." - Some very intelligent guy.

I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. - The Departed.

"The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'." -- Larry Hardiman

I've come here to do two things...chew bubble gum and kick ass...right now I'm all out of bubble gum" - Some movie.

"ANYTHING YOU WANT! LET'S DO IT! LET'S DO IT! LET'S DO IT!"- Jim Morrison

"If you're frightened of dying & you're holding on, you see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth" - Danny Aiello (Jacob's Ladder)

I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid.......... then I ran some more - Somebody suffering from acidity

"I love her cause she doesn't need me" -Some enlightened soul.

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. - FROM harry met sally

"You're puuuurdy, you smell like the inside of my mama's purse" -some stoned guy

I'm extravagant, impulsive and pragmatic all at the same time. I can be thoughtful and caring but my temper is also capable of hurting those I care for. I'm a bundle of contradictions; still trying to figure out what I truly want. I'm still running to stand still. - Me.

"Look at it this way...If all the computers in the whole world stop working atleast you will know what 2 plus 2 is"- Calvins Teacher

Have you ever had one of those days when life seemed terrible and everything in your world made you miserable?
But then have you had one such day and, in a moment -
maybe after a word from a loved one or friend,or a sudden flash of inspiration,
or even a physiological stimulus such as a cup of coffee,
realised things weren't so miserable after all?
Maybe even had tears of sorrow turn to tears of laughter?
And if those tears keep flowing
aren't they the same tears?
(Woody Allen- Melinda and Melinda )

All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don't break them for no one. - Donnie Brasco

God bless the internet - The Internet

Bill : Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he is Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S is the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race, sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plumpton. - Kill Bill.

"Bite my shiny metallic ass"- Bender

"Problem solving, Right action, is listening to life as it changes, not memorizing rules" - Jiddu Krishnamurti

I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free. - From Shawshank redemption

In the quiet words of the virgin Mary... Cum again!?" - Snatch

Even in my dreams, I'm an idiot who knows he's about to wake up to reality. - Really.

"Children of immortal bliss - what a sweet,what a hopeful name!Allow me to call you ,brethren,by that that sweet name -heirs of immortal bliss...You are the children of God,the sharers of immortal bliss,holy and perfect beings.You divinities on earth-sinners!It is a sin to call a man so;it is standing libel on human nature.
Arise!Awake!Awake from this hypnotism of weakness.None is really weak;the soul is infinite,omnipotent and omniscient.Stand up,assert yourself,proclaim the God within you,do not deny Him!Teach Yourselves,teach everyone your real nature,call upon the sleeping soul and see how it awakens.Power will come,purity will come,and everything that is excellent will come when this sleeping soul is roused to self conscious activity. - Swami Vivekananda

"Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you." - As good as it gets.

I don't take nething seriously,my life is a joke.so there's no need to write" i was kiddin",thats my default understanding - Me.

Are you ok? - Me.

Really? - Me.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - Thoedre Roosevelt.

When i die, i hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is. - Ayn Rand

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal. - Martin Luther King Jr

"I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you...to make each day count."- Jack Dawson ; Titanic

You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me - Pursuit of happYness.

Life is full of Crap.Even Crap gets beautiful when it is looked the way it needs to be.Define Crap.REdefine Life. - Me.

what a comfort to find out you're losing your mind when you re-realize that it's not the first time. burnt the beyond when you learned how to fly just to learn later on that there isn't a sky..."

Space...It seems to go on and on forever...but then you reach the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at ya.."- Fry

Do not have any attachments. Do not have anything in your life, that you are not willing to let go in 30 seconds flat, if you spot the heat around the corner. - From Heat.


how many lives do we live? how many times we die? they say we all lose 21 grams at the exact moment of our death... everyone. and how much fits into 21 grams, how much is lost? when we lose 21 grams, how much goes with that? how much is gained? how much is gained? ... 21 grams... the weight of a stack of 5 nickels... the weight of a humming bird... a chocolate bar... how much the 21 grams weigh? - depressed 21 Grams.

the alternations of a consciously unconscious mind

It has finally happened again,for the second time.I was never sure if there were more to come and I never ever even thought about it.The first time it happened,my mind faced a mental block for three days.Such was the effect that I was left powerless and my mind and body feared to response to anything physical just because of the impact the experience left on me.
This time too,it was unexpected and happened without much special efforts.
Before trying to go deep and recollecting all what happened,it is important for me,to think and remember what exactly has been happening over the past few days.
I have been very much restless .I am getting more and more impatient over a thing I want.That has been accumulating for months now and pretty much suffocates me.It's hard to sleep.I actually cant most of the time.I feel low and disheartened.For the first time,I want something so desperately and what troubles me more is that I am not even sure if should hope for the positive to happen in such a case because I am unable to change anything.I am trying hard to forget about it,but I have also realised that the feeling is real and not just a temporary one.all I know is that it is killing me now and i cant take anymore of it.
I wake up today at around 7 as usual.The pleasant weather is making me feel relaxed and there is something to be happy about.I spend my time watching a couple of movies.
Numerous blasts shook ahemdabad yesterday.Lives were lost and I could see helpless faces brimmed with fear,terror and tears on the televison.What a horrifying day it must have been for those who witnessed it and its so depressing beyond limits to even think about the victims and thier relatives who have to face such a harsh unjust treat for the rest of thier lives.
I lose more hope.On one hand I want something just because I really love it.My whole life seems to revolve around it for the time being and it goes on in my mind twenty four hours a day. At the same time I cant bear such things happening.I feel ashamed of myself because I think i am just making a mountain out of a molehill.I dont know what to do.I dont want to be a spectator.
I sit down,still in illusion.I try to forget about everything that is happening,not having even a faint idea about whats in store for me.I think about all the goodness within everything(yeah,does sound lame) and how everything pure is becoming so impure.It's hard to describe how I reached this state,as it is hard to remember what factors contributed to it,but it is as follows:
I am sitting with my eyes closed trying to concentrate at a point between my eyebrows(I cant think of anything worldly because of the mental tiredness).A yellow circle forms at that point.The area keeps on increasing and decreasing.that keeps on happening for a minute.I try hard to concentrate on the midpoint of that circle.It is a soothing light.I dont know why I did that.Then the circle takes the shape of a flame just like shape of the fire when we light up a diya.I no longer feel limited in that small area between my eyebrows.The yellowish orange light which has took the form a flame is so gigantic that it can form universes within.It starts souring high along a luminous path.I suddenly start feeling afraid that I am concsious of all whats happening.Now that fear of being roused up from that state makes me concentrate on the thing with much more strength and will.The luminous path contains in it a boundary of a sphere of blue light.I had never seen such a vibrant color as if it itself contained life and infinite energy.It was like a sea of blue currents and a million lunatics just loosed from the prison house.All I know is that it was nothing physical.It is not joy nor sorrow,but that which is between.It is peace.I try to concentrate harder and I am bought back to the yellow circle.This time I dont worry about anything.I let my mind take me wherever it wants me to be.It keeps on changing positions.One moment it is a yellow circle and the very next,a bright light dance show.It is like a song and just when the song seems to get very interesting and tries to hold you in admiration,there is a silence and the song seems to start all over again.It is a lull between two storms and a knowledge never known.
And just when all that seems to be happening in such a fashion,there floats the universe,rises and floats,to sink again.
There is a ever running,never compromising current of cause and effect.
I am still floating in that surging sea and being tossed to and fro,from wave to wave in this sea of strong passions and deep griefs.There is joy beyond all this.
Now how do I get there?
There is this ocean of my actions and thoughts which makes me dance like a puppet.I still know that I am not yet free.I know I can be.I can feel that it is indeed real.I now can dream strongly about a place where everything becomes one and contributes infinte goodness and power for all what you desire.This desire is not a desire in itself.It is the truth.Standing on this life's high,narrow bridge I can see below,The struggling,crying and the laughing.
Is there really a reason to be sad or something real to be happy about???
Are we on the right track?.Whereever you go,you will need love and you will need strength to do good,to laugh,to create.You know why?It is because it is you;the creator and the destroyer.
What about the heaven?What about the infiniteness of all you require?
It exists within every atom inside you and similarly in everything around you.
This life is our cup of coffee and we have to drink it.We dont have to worry about its temporary-ness.It all will be over soon and everything will be alright.When we do what is ought to be done,how can mother who loves us so much,not open the gates of light for us?I long to return home.It is the goal of my life,And peace-its only home!
I am brimmed with such things again and again whenever I am bought back to the subtler region of ideas.
I again become concsious for a second about whats happening and about my own existence.
I shake myself up.I open my eyes(which i regretted doing later..regretted doing it very very much).
Everything comes to an end in a jiffy.I am just aware of all what happened and try to get in terms with it.I dont feel anything extraordinary anymore other than what I just experienced.I feel very much suprised, but also relaxed as if I already knew everything.I felt as if it was just another reminder unlike the first time I had such an experience ,although it was very much different.Now,that was something.It was an eye opener.

The Big Circle.

I have nothing running in my mind right now.I go through this state a lot when i dont know what i am upto or what exactly I am doing at that particular moment.I feel that numbness all over my body and my inability to get in terms with reality.Maybe,i am too tired mentally. Sometimes,I feel I want nothing out of life,I am good this way and stuff like that.
Everybody is busy in whatever they are doing.Someone is after the terrorists and terrorists are after somebody else.Everybody is upto something or the other.Actually everybody wants something...Maybe, nobody is satisfied with the way things are...that includes me too...
While we are scrambling from one deal to the next...who's got the eye on the planet?There is no chance to think,to prepare.All we do is sell future,buy future,when there is no future.
Many world's seem to exist at the same place.WE sharpen the human appetite to a point where it can split atoms with its desire...We build egos the size of football fields, grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold plated fantasies until every human becomes an aspiring emperor...becomes his own god...where can we go from there?.

Many world's seem to exist at the same time.Millions are dieing on the streets.Some dont get food to eat.Some dont have this "home sweet home" thing to live in.There is terror,hunger,pain,suffering and millions of people who hope,just like any other human being,that one day they will have a life worth living.
But we continue on our titanic as it tilts slowly into the darkened sea.Those with cheaper tickets have began to be washed away.The rich are comforted by the knowledge that the life on the deck are reserved for the club-class passengers.The tragedy is that they are probably right.

But does anybody try to know or find out,what is this is all about?Let's kill science and all that technical complexity for a moment and try to concentrate on the question.Why are things this way?Why is Humanity this way?Can it change?Where are the answers?What are the answers?.


The world is so big and so small at the same time.Big it is and it is actually very small too because everything,these millions of issues and every idea,feeling,perception and knowledge is felt by every person individually.Sometimes,it is too much.And here am I,brimmed with this vaccum.Suddenly,nothing seems to affect me,neither an ongoing interesting semifinal match nor an important exam coming up. There is this terrible headache too.I want to give up.I am really tired.All i can feel is my breath,in and out.I try to find a reason,which makes me fight just for this day and I hope that when I wake up tommorow,I see a fresh new world and all this suffering just dissapears.

The wave rises on the ocean,and there is a hollow.Again another wave rises,perhaps bigger than the former,to fall down again;similarly,again to rise.In the march of events,we notice the rise and the fall,and we generally look towards the rise,forgetting the fall.But both are necessary.The waves are unified.There is a large ocean and waves seem to play within the boundaries.Some try to cross those boundaries,but the real beauty lies within the ocean.Thier existence seems more meaningful.What is the need to go beyond when the ocean in itself is Infinite?There is a rise and there is a fall just like the nature of this universe.Whether in the world of our thoughts or all the relations in this world,this movement of sucession,of rises and falls,is going on.Let's forget where we are right now,and let's try to gain this infinite strength from this big fall.But we must be unified.Just like this ocean.Just like when we feel the strength in the morning after those tiring attempts day after day.But this time we really must be unified.

Is that possible? I really dont know.I am too tired to think about that right now.

This is the same universe You and I live in.There is an ocean of thought and we all are particular minds.You are a mind,I am a mind;and the very same universe can be viewed from millions of standpoints.What's the difference between you and I?

Our bodies.We live in different bodies,we live inside matter.And this is what creates a difference in our thinking and maybe a difference in our needs to get out of the ocean seperately and kill peace.This matter conditions us.This limits us.DOESNT it?The ocean does exist and the waves are playing too,but we are too busy individually that we fail to notice the hollowness growing within.

Upon the same tree are two birds,one on the top,the other below.The one on the top is calm,silent and majestic;the one on the lower branches,eating sweet and bitter fruits by turns,hopping from branch to branch,is becoming happy and miserable by turns.After a time the lower bird eats an exceptional bitter fruit,gets disgusted and looks up and sees the other bird,who is neither happy nor sad.She forgets about this and keeps eating the fruits again.This happens several times and one day she hops to that branch and sees that other bird.She is shocked to know that bird was nothing but a reflection of herself.It was just that part of reality which exists in everybody of us.What is wrong in this idea if it makes us all equal?We really dont have to be ruled by matter.We have to go beyond that,I guess.We have to create infinitness within.What good is there in our individual pursuits to move ahead which cause nothing but pain and sorrow all around?

This will be great good to the world resulting from this unity,that instead of this world going on all with all it's friction and clashing,the aspect of the whole world will be changed,and,in place of fighting and quarelling,there would be a reign of peace.This indecent amd brutal hurry which forces humans and even countries to go ahead of each other will vanish from this earth.With it will vanish all struggle,with it will vanish hate,jealously and evil.This earth will become heaven,and what evil can be there when gods are playing with gods,when gods are working with gods,and gods are loving gods?

We must this create heaven here.Now.

NO more,will you look down with contempt upon the poor who walk the streets in the lonely night,because you will see even there the reality and unity existing.NO more you will think of jealously and punishments.THEY will all vanish,and love,will be so powerful that no whip and cord will be necessary to guide mankind aright.
Even death will be meaningful then.We will just live once.I dont how much long that will last.

I dont know what the future is,and I do not care too see it;I can see just one thing crystal clear before me:There is to be a battle.Exactly what form that battles takes,whether it's beautiful or bloodthirsty,depends on us.The point is that the battle must be joined.

We're running out of time.Even as we speak the circle of violence is closing in.Either way,change will come.I will repeat the same thing again.IT could be bloody,or it could be beautiful.IT depends on us.

When An Atom Defines Infinity

Let's try to find a moment. A moment containing the beauty never seen and a song that lives unsung. A moment which contains everything. It's like having a soul. When for a moment you live beyond time and experience and all what matters is just awareness. The ways to do that are innumberable,like standing against a strong blowing wind with your arms wide open,managing the beauty of the moment,just like thoughts crossing all boundaries. It is when you profess to dream and hum to the song of life.A moment which lasts forever.Only by the wave falling back into the sea can it become unlimited.After it has become the sea,it can become a wave again and as big as it wants to be.If it is good to feel the happiness of one body,it must be better to feel the beauty of two souls and so on,to a moment,when you add the beauty of all the conciousness avaiable in the world,becoming one and gaining universal conciousness.To gain this infinite universal individuality,this miserable little prison individuality must go. It's like Creating millions of alternative universes within a difference of a few metres.It's about Dancing in the rain when it is not raining outside,but inside.When you can find light in darkness and your soul,dancing and sliding on a big mountain of love,beauty and understanding,is barely visible due to the very strong penetrating sunlight.It's Mozart playing that unfinished last symphony and you helping him out with the guitar.(well,he never used the guitar, but as this is the unfinished last symphony,we can try and get a little innovative)

Come out and die in the open air of freedom.Throw all the other nonsene to the winds.Be Free.

IT is all about inventing the bloody NanoSecond.

Invent NanoSecond.REinvent Life.